Let's play around with this metaphor. In what sense is the body the scorekeeper? What analogous role would be assigned to the breath?
The metaphor is about trauma of course. "The Body Keeps the Score" is the title of a book by Bessel van der Kolk. It hails a major paradigm shift in the theory of trauma. Once trauma was all about dysfunctional thoughts and ideas, and now it is seen primarily as holding, clenching, pain in the physical body. One leading trauma therapist reflected in the opening portions of her book: We have basically been re-traumatizing our patients all these years, and now we're finally on the right track!
The body is the scorekeeper.
What happened to you in inning one (your childhood) has been recorded and it is as relevant to your overall outcome in the game as the happenings of more recent innings. And the score is a deeper indication of your wellbeing than your current attitude on the pitcher's mound or batter's box, say. You could be doing all sorts of performative shenanigans, waving your cap to the crowd, shit-talking your opponents, doing a celebratory dance on the pitcher's mound or in the batter's box... But if you're down by several runs, you're probably going to lose. That's the nature of the game -- It's all about the score.
The body-as-scorekeeper metaphor is useful because it reminds us we are not merely thinking machines churning out sentences. If we want to heal deeply we must address the way the body "stores" and processes (or doesn't) the pain.
But what about the breath!
It's mind-boggling it took the community of trauma therapists so long to realize the primary role of the body. Maybe this has something to do with Descartes' daft ramblings -- maybe we can lay the blame at the feet of scientific materialism and neuroscience, the drive to explain every mental phenomenon in terms of the physical brain -- maybe Freud gets the lion's share of the recrimination.
But it's just as major an oversight to claim it's the body doing the scorekeeping without mentioning the breath. ANY issue related to trauma can be given an explanation in terms of the breath as well as the body.
"This horrific thing happened to you, so you stored this emotional pain in your body."
"This horrific thing happened to you, so you stored this emotional pain on your breath."
Just as a 5-minute meditation practice will reveal the inseparable connection between thoughts and feelings, the same practice will reveal that the breath is involved -- completely involved -- in every thought and feeling.
Why is this understanding important?
Because in many cases, the breath is easier to work with than the body!
If the source of your pain is a tightly clenched fist, fingernails digging into your palm, you can easily open your fist and relax your fingers. But if the source is trauma-pain, it takes the form of very intricate holding-and-clenching patterns in the body (chakras). Number one, this pain is very complex and subtle (every bit as complex and subtle as language), and number two, this pain is often "hidden." The storage compartment is deep below the conscious threshold. It may take some therapy or a healing journey with psychedelics to even recognize the pain as pain.
But the breath can be consciously directed. You can bring your attention to it and follow it all the way to the bottom. You can become intimate, through a little focused attention, with the intricate jitters, stops and starts within its flow. You can consciously take deep belly-inhalations and exhale, letting the muscles of the chest and belly completely relax.
This work is not easy! Just as the ego protects the pain, casting up reasons not to feel it, generating fear, the ego knows that its dominion relies on the trauma "stored" on the breath. It is not easy, in this day and age for many of us, just to take one deep breath!
But it's important we know the nature and rules of the game -- those of us trying to heal.
So let's recognize the body as scorekeeper -- not a mere bystander, but a pro with crucial influence over the outcome of the game -- and let's also give the breath a similar, major role. The ref!
The body is the scorekeeper, the breath is the ref, and the thoughts? They're just the loose talk and empty beer cans of a few rowdy fans in the bleachers!
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